Normally I use this blog to show (off) my creative side through playing with paper. But I am also sometimes creative with words. And this week there is far more word writing and service collating than there is card making or scrapbooking so I thought I would share with you some reflections that I have written to use in Holy Week services. I'm putting next to the words just as a reminder to those who may want to use them that I wrote them. If anyone does, feel free!
the garden of Gethsemene
Waiting and sleeping
He wanted us to wait
He wanted us to
watch
He wanted us to
pray.
And, seeing his
drawn features,
And, hearing a voice
near to tears,
We wanted to wait
And to watch
And to pray.
And so we sat on our
knees and began to pray
But the ground was
hard and we relaxed our postures
And soon, in the
quiet
We were asleep.
He came back
And the hurt and
pain in his voice was one of the most terrible things I have heard.
“You were sleeping!”
he whispered
“we will wait and
watch and pray” we promised.
And we did.
But the night was
warm
With a soft lulling
breeze
And soon we were
asleep.
He woke us again
We apologised again
We promised again.
We prayed, fervently
We watched – as he
paced, and lifted his arms to the sky, and knelt and cried
We listened - We
could hear him crying out to God to “take this cup away”
We could not bear
it.
And perhaps, because
our bodies could not take the agonies they sensed.
Once more we fell
asleep.
Once more we let him
down.
And there were no
chances left.
How could we be
angry with Judas for betraying him with a kiss?
When we had already
betrayed him
We had already
betrayed him.
© Lythan Nevard
Peter in the courtyard
I don’t know him
I was not in my
right mind.
Truly, I wasn’t.
I was already
reeling from the events in the garden,
Wanting to stay
awake but failing, failing.
Judas’ kiss
The arrest.
Running away.
And then doubling
back and following the crowd who had Jesus’
And so I arrived at
the High Priests Courtyard.
Sweaty and
distraught
A head full of
everything and nothing
Suddenly so cold and
finding my way to the brazier.
I didn’t realise she
was speaking to me at first
“You’re one of them
aren’t you. Oi, you”
She prodded me.
“You’re one of the
followers of that Jesus of Nazareth”
I stood up, and
stuttered.
“no, no not me,
you’re wrong”
I moved to a more
crowded area.
To my horror she
watched me and I saw her pointing me out to some others
“Look, he was with
Jesus of Nazareth”
“no, I wasn’t”
There was nowhere to
go, the place was packed.
I was frantic, my
heart was beating so fast, my head was spinning
A group came up to
me and one of them said
“Come off it mate,
of course you’re one of them – you’re from Galilee too”
“No!” I shouted “I
don’t know him. Swear to God!”
I was so loud that
the people in the courtyard froze.
Which meant that the
sound of the cock crowing came clear across the air.
And then from inside
the High Priest’s House, the sound of a man thumping a table
And shouting
“Guilty!”
I broke down.
And wept.
© Lythan Nevard
at the crucifixion
Mary’s song
Oh my baby, oh my
boy
Sleep now, sleep.
The song I used to
sing to you, when you were a baby
The song I once
thought I would sing to your children.
Somehow I find
myself singing it now, under my breath.
It stops me from
breaking down.
I sang it as I
watched you carry the cross up that hill
And as you fell
When I could see the
red lines on your back from the whipping
I sang it, with my
hands over my ears as they pounded nails into you
And as you cried out
when the cross was lifted up
But I did not cry.
I thought about the
times I have cried over you.
When you told your
father and I that the time had come for you
To fulfil your
promise
When I tried to see
you – you were tired and worn out and I just wanted you to come home and rest
for a few days
And you would not
see me and said that everyone was your mother and your brothers.
That was a new sword
to pierce my heart.
But now as I look
and sing
Oh my baby, oh my
boy.... Sleep now, sleep.
I wonder if it was a
gift.
To help me for
today.
To give some distance
to help me cope.
I see the women
around me weep – and know that they are your mother’s too.
And that we will
support each other.
Even now you have
new things to teach me about God’s grace.
I don’t know why
this is the way things must happen
But I have long
since given up trying to second guess God’s will
There will be tears
to shed.
But now,
I stand proud to be
the one God called to be your mother,
Amongst your mothers
and your brothers
Remembering the
stable
And the carpenters
shop
And the love and the
laughter
And the endless
reciting of the Torah
And the debates with
your father
And the times of
prayer and quiet
And the way you
would resolutely do things your way,
Even when I failed
to understand.
And I know that you
are God’s son
I don’t want you to
die
I don’t want it to
be over
But I see you in
such pain
Oh my baby, oh my
boy.... Sleep now, sleep.
It is finished
© Lythan Nevard
